The Ultimate Joy Killer: Comparison

Once in a while, I find myself in self-pity mode. I sometimes dismiss it so I can snap out of it, while other times I dig myself deeper into the pit.

Over a period of time, I have discovered that I fall into this trap because I compared myself to someone else. I look at how something did not turn out the way I wanted and then look at how it worked out for someone else. It’s not always the same circumstance. For example, I applied for the same job as someone else. They got it and I didn’t. Usually, it is less comparable and not as “apples to apples.”

No matter the trigger, if something doesn’t go my way, I sink deeper into the hole. Like I said, it may not even be parallel or comparable situations, but I leverage what they have going on to push myself further down. I listen attentively to the voice feeding me lies and embrace the lies as if they were my own.

In these times, I find myself in the story at Jesus’ tomb after his dramatic exit. I’m not the hero of the story. Rather, I find myself as the other one in the story. The scene is in Matthew 27, which incidentally is the same chapter as Judas hanging himself, Jesus’ trial, crucifixion, and burial. That’s a lot of action, not to mention a lot of tragedy. If we zoom into verse 61, we see Mary Magdalene and the other Mary were in attendance at the tomb. Fast forward to Matthew 28, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary come back to the tomb (verse 1).

We know the first Mary because there is much written about her. The other Mary, though, who is she?

Just the fact that they refer to her as the “other” Mary seems disparaging. Almost as if she isn’t as good as Mary Magdalene. She is listed last on the attendance list on both occasions, albeit there are only 2 present. She is called the “other Mary” in both Matthew 27 and 28.

Can you imagine the conversations where her name comes up?

The beautiful Mary? No, the other one.

The intelligent Mary? No, the other one.

The talented Mary? No, the other one.

If I let myself wallow long enough, I feel like the "other one" and not like the "favored" and "winning" one. The one that is faceless, unrelated, unknown, invisible.

The culprit? Comparison. While I know I’m not the only one who falls into the comparison trap, I find myself needlessly suffering when I elevate the enemy’s voice from me hearing to me listening. Not only do I suffer, but I miss out on God’s blessings (past and present).

That's when I need to praise the God who has a plan for ME. The One who calls ME by name. The One who knew ME before time began.  The One who knit ME together. The One who created ME to be wonderfully and fearfully made. The One who will give ME a new name. The lifter of MY head. Only then will I shift my focus from the "other one" to God's treasure. 

For reference:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33