They Say Time Heals All

I had the opportunity to be a care giver for a 100 year old woman. Although, I was responsible for cooking, cleaning, and assisting her in many ways, we talked a lot. I spent every Saturday and Sunday with her in her home for almost a year.

During our conversations, she shared a lot about her life. It became evident that she had been through a lot. She was orphaned by the age of 3, losing both parents to the influenza outbreak in the early 20^th century. She and her siblings were separated and raised by various family members. She went to live with a relative who was controlling and difficult.

Later she was married to an abusive man who threatened on many occasions to hurt their children. She had 4 children. Only 1 remained in her old age. One died of cancer and 2 others died as infants.

Hers was a life of tumult and trial.

You wouldn’t know it with her cheery disposition and the way she welcome so many visitors.

When there were no visitors around and it was just the two of us, a lot of vulnerable words were spoken. She had a lot of hurt that manifested in different ways. She needed to be reassured that she was good, accepted, and loved. When she regaled me with tales of people that she loved and admired, she would then turn to me and ask if she was anything like them. Aside from being put on the spot, I started to ponder her questions. Here she is 100 years old and still in need of healing from hurts a century old.

They say time heals all. I don’t know who “they” are but “they” are in denial. Time heals nothing. One thing that time does do is distance us from the direct hit that caused the hurt. The gushing wound slowly gets covered over and is not as evident on the surface. The event of the hurt fades but the remnant of the wound remains…forever.

Take Joseph, for example. He had been betrayed by his brothers and abandoned not knowing if he would ever see his family again. A million moments and miles away, Joseph is face to face with these same scoundrel brothers. In the scenes from Genesis 42-45, Joseph explodes with emotion as the presence of his brothers alone ripped open the wound.

What did time heal for Joseph? 

What did time heal for the 100 year old woman? 

Not a damn thing.

Jesus is the only healer I know.

“Then Joseph hurried from the room because he was overcome with emotion for his brother. He went into his private room, where he broke down and wept. After washing his face, he came back out, keeping himself under control. Then he ordered, “Bring out the food!” Genesis 43: 30-31